What Emotional Intelligence can teach us about better business with Volker Ballueder

Let’s face it, most sales training skips over one of the most powerful tools we have: ourselves.

Volker Ballueder, coach at Obnatus delivered a masterclass on emotional intelligence and it reminded us that how we show up - emotionally, mentally, relationally can be the real game-changer in business development. It’s not about performing empathy or sprinkling buzzwords into your pitch. It’s about actually understanding your own emotional drivers, and using that awareness to build real rapport, make better decisions and lead with more impact.

Here are some takeaways that stuck with me:

1. Self-awareness is fundamental

Before you even think about influencing others, you’ve got to tune in to what’s going on with you. Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Are you aware of how your mood affects the way you talk to a prospect? Do you recognise when you're operating from stress or fear?

Volker gave a great example of someone launching into a pitch after a stressful morning - unsurprisingly, it didn’t land well. The energy we bring into the room (or Zoom) matters. Learn to spot those patterns in yourself, and you can start to manage them better.

2. Emotions are data - not distractions

There’s often a perception in business that emotions are something to ‘overcome’. But Volker reframes them as signals. Butterflies in your stomach before a call? That’s not weakness, that’s energy you can work with. The key is learning to interpret those signals, not suppress them.

As he put it: “Get your butterflies flying in formation.”

3. Empathy wins pitches, not just charm

Volker reminded us that active listening is more than nodding along. It’s noticing the emotional cues, the shifts in tone, the unspoken stuff. A story he shared stuck with me, spotting a prospect looking distracted during a call, and instead of pushing ahead with the pitch, asking, “Are you okay?” Turned out she’d just got a puppy and wasn’t sure if it was professional to mention it. That moment of human connection made all the difference.

In sales, we’re often so focused on closing that we miss the opportunity to connect. And connection is what leads to trust, which is what leads to deals.

4. Decision-making: Feel it and prove it

Most buying decisions start emotionally and get rationalised later. That doesn’t mean you skip the facts and figures but it does mean you need to speak to the emotional side first. What’s the fear, the desire, the friction? Are you addressing that in your pitch, or just leading with logic?

Volker stressed the importance of balancing intuition with data especially when handling objections or high-pressure negotiations. And crucially, knowing when not to react emotionally yourself. Think twice before hitting “reply all” on that angry email…

5. Storytelling still matters

We’ve all heard that storytelling is powerful. But what’s often missed is why. Stories trigger emotions. They’re memorable. They build trust. Whether you’re in a pitch or a follow-up conversation, sharing a relevant story about a win, a mistake, or a client transformation can make your message land in a more meaningful way.

And if you’re someone who struggles with confidence, stories can also be a great tool to build your own credibility without sounding arrogant.

6. Adapt your style, don’t just ‘show up’

Self-expression isn’t just about being yourself. It’s about being yourself strategically. That means flexing your communication style depending on who you’re talking to and how they’re showing up. If someone’s giving you short answers and no eye contact, don’t bulldoze in with big energy. Match their pace. Ask softer questions. Build slowly.

It’s also a reminder to pay attention to non-verbal cues, which is harder on video calls so you may need to be more deliberate about how you present yourself (yes, even where your hands are on screen).

7. Build emotional habits, not just sales habits

Journalling, feedback, mindfulness, noticing your reactions, these aren’t just wellbeing tips. They’re tools for building better commercial relationships. The more emotionally grounded you are, the better your resilience when a deal falls through, or a conversation gets tricky.

One thing Volker said that really landed: the best salespeople aren’t just confident. They’re curious. About themselves, about others, and about what’s really going on beneath the surface of a conversation.

Final thoughts

Emotional intelligence isn’t a ‘nice to have’ for salespeople. It’s the thing that separates the average from the excellent. It helps you build stronger relationships, make smarter decisions, and bring more of yourself into your work — without losing the edge that gets results.

Volker’s session was a timely reminder that sales isn’t just about tactics. It’s about people. And the more human you can be — the more emotionally aware, authentic, and adaptable — the better business gets.

You can access Volker’s masterclass online and all our other amazing on-demand masterclasses when you sign up as a Youngling member via here.